Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

About the house agreement. The original agreement she sent me wasn't an actual separation agreement. It simply had language included that discussed a few basic things about the marriage...dates, etc. I told her to remove those items as they were not relevant to the purpose of the agreement. She agreed and removed them. She wanted a separation agreement at the beginnning of the separation. My DB coach advised me to stall on this as did several lawyers I spoke with.

I wasn't trying to control her at all. I did what I said I would do and that was to sign an agreement that only pertained to the selling of the house. That's what she wanted and that's what I stuck to, nothing more, nothing less. She cannot file anything until this coming October.

I'm not arguing that this is probably the pattern she has seen in me for a while. That's fine, I acknowledge that. To be honest I didn't know any better back then. I've said it before here that I wasn't as mature about relatioinships as i could have been. Sure I would have handled things differently in the past...we all would. I have no problem with anyone pointing out my flaws. I can't grow and improve if I don't know these things.

Yes, I agree that the financial mess was her breaking point. I know they were other things. I have figured some of them out on my own and have told my W these things. I think my W was and still is very immature. I believe her immaturity is the a big reason she did not seek help or try to change things at that time. Again, she buries her head in the sand.

You make a good point about the real issues in this M and where we are today. Yes, dating is one issue but there are far more serious issues. Ok, I can accept this. I am willing to listen to her issues. I am willing to work on them. The mature way to go about this is to discuss our needs together and see if we can meet them. If not then it won't work. If we think we can meet each other's needs than we should try. Whether or not we would ever get back together or not I still believe the healthy/mature way is to talk about the issues that brought us to this point. Again, that's what I think. I know she feels differently.

As far as what road to take now without fear. Well, I guess that's what I need to think about and decide. I'm not sure. What can I do different? For starters getting her involved with the business matters. Email her by tomorrow with what needs to be done. Tell her what I'm going to do and do it. Not allow fear to control my actions. Let me think some more on the rest.