I know exactly what you are going through. My W is acting the same way. Under normal circuimstances she is a walking medical dictionary and always pushes everyone in the family to the right direction when it comes to health. When small ailments have bothered hes she has taken action immediately.
But now she is dragging her feet just like yours. She is avoiding further tests which should be done. It's like she has accepted the fact that she has MS without wanting to know for sure. I can see that every day. The bad days she mopes and is looking for some comfort from me. On good days she is trying to have fun with her friends and and neglects me and our pets.
Like you I'd like to put this whole DB on hold for awhile and get to the bottom of her health issue, but I can't. I have a milestone date coming up. I am due telling her what I think aobut our sitch. The advice I've gotten here leaves me only with two options to give her - I'm leaving or we reinvent the R.
It comes down to my delivery speech, the words I use and how I handle her reactions and responses. It will be a tough task. I can't bring the healt issue into the picture but it certainly is constantly on my mind.
I have to be prepared to deal with the worse - leave her, our pets and our house. How she will manage her life from that moment on, I don't know but I suppose it isn't for me to worry about anymore. I don't know how not to care...
I don't really have a frame of reference on this. All I know is that if it were me, I'd want my S to be there. I have plenty of good friends and a family. But nothing is quite the same as the person you've been M to.
I don't have any idea what I'm doing. Not sure I'm doing a good job of anything as much as just hanging around. With her hesitance, I have to continually remind myself to stay calm.
She hasn't spewed as much as I expected, but it's only been a few days. She seems fairly relaxed, not at all like she's uber stressed, or scared. It's the weirdest thing.
It's funny, at the outset of this particular issue my confusion was over what to do with respect to db and R and the gains I've fought to make. I prepared my self to take a beating that just hasn't come. Now I'm just confused in general about what she's thinking and feeling. So I solved the equation in my mind about how to approach this and now there's nothing on the surface to approach. I jumped from one limbo into another. I'm determined to stay pleasant, supporting and withstand whatever spew she can dish out. But this has been like stoming the beach to find the enemy pulled the defenses in the night. Just a bunch of standing around trying to figure out where they went. And WHY.
I am working out and taking care of the things that I need to do. Going Camping with S12 this weekend and have been invited to go on a private dove hunt next weekend. It's Friday, 100 miles away. think I'm going to go. I'll get back just in time Saturday to head to the first football game with the fam. She's been talking football and about tailgating. It's a long season. Maybe she plans to be around and together to catch it.
IDK what to make of the whole sitch.
Last edited by A_goodman; 08/26/1008:57 PM.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
Not sure I'm doing a good job of anything as much as just hanging around.
Your prescence is being noticed. All WAWs watch their husbands. She knows you are doing the right and honorable thing. Don't expect anything. You can handle it.
Strength and Honor
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Have you always known the EXACT right thing to say?
NO.
You are welcome.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
