Damn it!! Are you serious?? You are inviting her over for dinner. How da hell is she going to feel the pain of what she is doing by YOU taking care of her again. You just said the house was her "Security blanket" yet you invited over to use the nice warm blanket.
DETACH!! ACCEPT SHE DOESNT WANT YOU OR THE MARRIAGE. DONT ENABLE HER. The only reason she should be coming over is to pick up her $hit!!
I swear Im going to drive over to your house and slap the crap out of you.
You keep on sabotaging yourself.
ugghhhh!!! Your going to lose all your support if you keep this crap going.
Calling her now. Cancelling plans. I'm an idiot, but the difference this time is I caught it before I did it.
She's going to be devastated.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
You changed your mind. Some things came up that you need to take care of.
From now on, however, do not make plans and then cancel them.
Don't make plans with her... especially supplicating plans like making her dinner.
Normally, I would say cancelling plans you make is a bad idea. But it has to stop sometime in your case, and it's not like she didn't change her mind about... not chasing other men, your marriage, your family.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 08/26/1008:46 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Exactly. I did similar things in my sitch last year. Only after I completely shut her out, and communicated minimally only for purposes of child scheduling, for several months, did SHE approach ME, and wanted to talk about reconciling. She told me that it was only when I completely went away that she realized she didn't want to lose me.
Dude!! You are hilarious. You get the McFly award for the week.
Just slow down and breath!!! You can do this. You are just breaking old habits. At least you're aware of them. Now calm down and learn to CONTROL yourself. Cut those strings that she has been pulling once and for all.
Use this time to become the person YOU want to be. Convince yourself that you NEED this time to WORK on YOU. This is just between YOU and the "Little Boy" inside you that needs to grow up.
Once you two have worked things out then you can decide if you want to share your new, exciting life with your WAW
Dude!! You are hilarious. You get the McFly award for the week.
/takesabow "Thankyou. Thankyou. I would first like to thank my W, for turning me into a little pansy who does everything to please her. And to myself, for allowing her to control me like this even when she isn't around. I'll be in the back if you need to come by and slap me"
If I call and cancel plans at this time, I'm sure she's going to see that as manipulative. "You told me I could come over earlier today and I was all excited to see S4 because I missed him sooooo much, then you cancelled and manipulated my feelings....."
I'm not going to do that - I'm not that person anymore - I just need to accept I made a mistake here, this ONE time. (right?)
I think as long as I understand I made a mistake here by inviting her over, I can still follow through with the plans. I just damn better not do this again, that's all.
Last edited by john28; 08/26/1008:57 PM. Reason: i'm an idiot
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
