Thanks swimming, I'm grateful for the encouragement. I've been in IC for so long (alone; H refused) and trying so many things to get through to him. I thought we'd licked it after a holiday this summer, but some of those old patterns keep coming back. Wonder if they ever left. Sure, he's making changes...if I'm practically standing on top of him and asserting my needs every moment of every day, plus being very clear that I will leave if it doesn't change (not being rash or angry; just stating my needs). Don't get me wrong it's not all him. I'm trying to own up to and change my half of the equation. But the communication... signs of affection and admiration, intimacy... if I take my eye off it for a second... it just slips away. He won't even really touch me, save for some friendly hugs and kisses. But even they're 'measured out' - he'll hold me, but then practically push me away once he's at his threshhold for closeness. I'm exhausted. And yet again, wondering if he'd / we'd be better of if I just left.
So I'd just done a search on the board this am for emotional distance literally about 15min after you posted, and when I read your sentence about reaching your threshold for emotional pain. Well, it hit home. Of course I feel ridiculous at the same time. I must have a pretty low threshhold considering some of the situations other folks have been through on the board. And I've been here for what feels like ages. The silliest problem here and taking so long to fix (i used to go by prairiegirl). It's just stupid. Augh. Anyways. Thank you again for sharing your strength with all of us, and my apologies for hijacking.
(edit: sorry, I didn't mean to say other problems here are silly; far, far from it. just that I think mine is and I'm angry with myself for not being able to fix it.
Last edited by FindingMyVoice; 08/26/1008:17 PM.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
