Hey all. I planned on making a post with some updates. Wife and I are getting a long quite well BUT there is at times some tension between us.... Allow me to explain
wife and I would have a great day. When we have such days I feel even more confident in our sitch. Then our next interaction I expect it to go even better but then it seems like we took a step back rather than build on our previous interactions. This does cause tension but maybe only because I allow it to. I think I expect too much too soon. I know we are on wife's time but some times I think we are farther along then we actually are.
I admit I have slipped up a few times prompting wife to become defensive.
Wife has said things such as - I am waitimg to see if you actually changed - I dont want to make myself vulnerable and get hurt again, I have to see that you changed and know that I can trust you
There are many things my w won't talk about or feelings she won't express due to she feels it will make her vulnerable... I really hope retrouvaille helps.
In some aspects working toward reconcile has been tough. My w has,changed in some ways from the person I remember her being. so I am getting aquanted with these changes in her. I am not sure if this is due to w not fully opening herself up to me or if this is truly the new her. W has said MUCH of what she did and said in the past she felt like she was forced.
I am trying to stay focused and could certainly use some advise at this point from those who have reconciled. Tips, suggestions or what to expect....
Also I been feeling upset in way (cant think of the word I am looking for).....w's actions in the those 7 mo has aused me to hold some grudge toward her....how do I over come?
OfficerInNeed,
Consider this, as we build up experiences, we will GROW. We will grow into a direction in which we are spending our time and focus. So its not really about someone "changing back", not sure if that could happen.
Determine how they are growing and what their priorities are and if you can support it.
