Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

That's exactly what I was thinking...this is eerily similar to what you were going thru last December…with the distance growing but yet him trying to hold on but not necessarily for the right reasons. That’s good advice that your friend gave you and that you are now passing on to me. I think I still have hope (although don’t know have naïve or blind it is) but there is hope and that is what is keeping me going. I still don’t know exactly what to do or what direction to go, but it is that hope that keeps me trying to figure that answer out. I do have 2 things in my favor though which I think give me a fighting chance. 1) H is still extremely attracted to me and desires me physically (whether or not I should give into his desire is questionable, but at least that desire is there). 2) Although H’s actions are often for the benefit of himself, he is not 100% selfish, so that gives me some room to work with. He always asks how I am doing and about my day, and will give me backrubs when needed.

That being said, here’s the latest update. Interesting, so let me know your take on it. H texted last night to see what my plans were for the night. The normal – dinner, S bath time, etc. He said he was having a bad day (or “was in a mood” as he said), so I invited him to dinner, but he declined saying that he just didn’t feel like eating or being around other people but instead just wanted to veg out with me. Hmm, interesting. Just wants to be with me, huh? I said ok and that he could stop whenever. S was in a good mood so we had a great time playing last night. Finally I got him down to bed then followed up with H to see what his plans were. If it was ok with me, he still wanted to come over. So he came and when he got there, we kind of nestled together, and we talked about what was going on with our lives. He talked about how stressed out he is about the new places (will it go thru or not) and his frustrations with his current place. He also talked about how he was feeling so off that day and was supposed to go to a baseball game with his friends, and didn’t even want to do that. I asked him if he could identify the feeling (depression, add, etc), but he could really name it more than just saying it was just everything. (I couldn’t help but think that my distancing myself from him was adding to this, but that’s a good thing if it’s affecting him). I talked about S/work/our trip this past weekend. Then he gave me a backrub (shoot, he has awesome back rubbing hands – I’m definitely going to miss that if we get D’s! =P) Then I returned the favor and gave him a back run. He was there for about 2 hours and he said he now felt better there with me than he has all day. Pat on my back! Haha. I don’t always want to be his shoulder to cry on so to speak, I want much more than that, but I think it’s good if he is realizing that being with me is better than being without me, you know? Last super interesting thing, before he left, he told me that if I need to get a hold of him to just text him because he had turned off all incoming calls. Huh???? He just said basically he was tired of everybody and didn’t want to have to talk to anybody. In my head, I’m thinking what’s the story with OW3 then? Is this move b/c of her or me or something completely different? So I don’t know what it means exactly but I just found it very interesting!