I am not sure if you get to a point where you reach what I like to call your “threshold of emotional pain” but I think I have reached it. I have heard enough to last a life time. I am not going to give an update on the status of my marriage because this process is really not about your marriage, it is about YOU! I am sure you have heard it here a thousand times on this board but it is true. It took me over a year to get this in my head. I was cleaning out my in box today and came across email exchanges from early 2009 between my husband and myself and I am mortified that I talked the way that I talked about myself. I lacked confidence and showed no respect for myself. I was needy and relied too much on him to validate how I felt about myself. I have really found my strength in the last few months and I have realized that I am such a better person now. I don’t nag, b****, or complain and while it is hard to hear some of the things that my husband says to me and I find myself getting worked up I realize that I now have the ability to calm myself and walk away. I have endured so much and I now know that I deserve to treat myself well. It has helped me to respect others as well and how to treat others. If you have been cheated on then I commend you, I think it is a very emotional and trying time. It can be hell. Trust me. But in the end you have to know that it is NOT about you! You did nothing wrong. So my advice is a combination of other’s advice from this board, take care of yourself, learn to let go and change the things that you can change. You can’t control what anyone else does but you can be a wonderful and awesome person yourself!
