Shakedown Street

[ImprovedRomeo]

CG, glad to see you decided to join us on the dark side.

It really sucks to hear about all the D mess, it's so unfair at so many levels I don't even know where to begin responding. I get a similar treatment from STBXW- she thinks because she moved on I should act just like her- like not a care in the world and everything's just like before when it suits her. While I have no desire to reconcile with her there are parts of my previous life that I do miss. I think the biggest part is having to become a part-time parent when I didn't want to, then fork over half of my assets which she never was in a position to contribute to during the course of our marriage, then deal with all the legal BS and fork more money over paying for the legal costs. All this when we weren't even the ones doing the leaving. Like I said, it just sucks and I'm sorry you're dealing with this still after 2 years especially the whole separation vs. divorce fiasco which is draining you both emotionally and financially (((CG))).

It's tough getting out there after all this, isn't it? I'm in a similar situation as you. It's hard to know who to trust and who not to. My personal opinion is that whoever you let in should be someone who's into you and who's not afraid to say or show it. Someone who's willing to help you with your fears, insecurities and perhaps someone who shares and understands what it's like to go through this process. The one thing I'm terrified of is get too emotionally invested while the other person is really just 'exploring' things and unsure of what they want. Of course communication is key too, STBXW and I weren't really good at communicating at a deeper level. While we could talk about the world all day long we couldn't discuss our expectations our needs and wants etc. I was way more communicative than her. In fact, even when I told her how happy she made me feel, when she did, she could never say something as simple as 'you do that for me too or I feel the same way' the three words 'i love you' were probably only said a handful of times. It's not that she hated me it's just that she felt it was more important to not disclose what she felt inside and rather keep her cards close to her. I would not want that in my new relationship, I want to hear and see that my partner appreciates me, she cares about me and she loves me just as much as I do. I realize it's not something that can be expected right off the bat but I'm afraid if there are no signs of such things I'll always be waiting. I guess sometimes you just have to let things be and see where they go...that is if you like the person.

Oh the most thing, I almost forgot...make sure he's hot stuff or drop him like a fly

About the big change...something grand...how about singing the national anthem at the Yankees game? that would be pretty grand. Long term though...become a race car driver like Danica Patrick- hot!!