When I went home to swap with my W my D was very upset. Kept saying and crying she wanted to stay with her mom. She even told me she hates me, I laughed and told her that's ok. She was fine after about 10 minutes or so.
Very well-handled, Steady. You'd be suprised at how many people give in to this, and then the kids ends up with no structure, wandering back and forth between the two marital homes like gypsies, with no set schedules. You used humor to diffuse the situation, and were strong and leading, and that's the kind of structure and love that your kids need from you thru this.
Well done.
Puppy
Thanks Puppy. I know kids say all kinds of things depending on what crosses their minds. This is part of the collateral damage that needs to be handled in a D with kids involved.
When I brought this up to my W a year and a half ago - talking about the repercussions our kids will feel - she did the standard script - 'kids are resilient'.
I didn't say this, but yeah, they're resilient. They bound back. But they still have inside them all the emotional and mental cr@p they have to deal with. They're 4 and 7 and they're having to go through emotions and thinking they wouldn't normally have to go through in a 'normal' family life.
In my last few posts I talk about the phase they're in now - where it is starting to affect them in a way they need to verbalize their stuff about having parents who don't live together with them together. They both have been making comments about it so it's starting to do it's damage.
When my kids tell my W they want to be with her and visit me she tells them, "Well, I'm working on that." When they tell me they want to be with me I tell them, "Well mommy and daddy have to share you guys. It wouldn't be fair if I got you guys most of the time and mom only got you for just a little bit of time. Besides, you always have fun with mommy."
She's encouraging them wanting to be 'away' from me while I am encouraging them to be with both of us. Just tells you where her head is at.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
