Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Met with my IC last night. He was dissapointed to hear the news. Basically told me that I tried everything I could but as of now she seems like she has no interest in M. I discussed with him some of the advice I received here. He agreed with most of it.

His suggestion was to tell her (very calmly) that I know about her being on the dating website. Tell her that I don't approve and still want to work on the M but it's clear that this is not what she wants. Tell her that I am not going to try fighting her anymore to work on the M and I'm letting her go. That's about it. I aksed him if I should then tell her I am still willing to go to MC for closure. He didn't really think it mattered either way. Said he thought she would probably say no. He said there's always the possibility that letting her go might bring her back but he felt like I needed to prepare myself to move on which is what everyone else has been telling me. He thinks she is going to fall hard one day because she never dealt with her issues. He said she will carry these issues with her whether she comes back to me or with someone else. Said she might start off great with someone else but eventually her issues will surface and that's when she'll fall.

Asked my IC about exposing to her family and friends. He agreed with the advice here that she's already on a public dating website so exposure might not do much. Said if the opportunity arises that I could tell them what she's done and I don't think it's right, that I don't want to D and want to work on M. I don't know. I guess my reason for wanting to expose is so she knows that I'm not ok with her dating until we would D. I don't want to be the passive H again and keep my mouth shut about something that bothers me. Like I told my IC, when do I get to say what I want to her? Everything seems to be that I shouldn't say anything so as not to push her further away. Very frustrating for me to just sit here and take it.

Still very hard for me today dealing with this. She was online on the dating website last night for about an hour until midnight. I know I shouldn't even check, not good for me. Just angers me though that she can stay up late at night for that but not be responsible and contact me about house decisions. Two Sundays ago I told her she could call me when I got back at 10:30 at night so we could dicsuss house issues we needed to take care of two weeks ago. She told me then that it would probably be too late for her to call. Yeah right. Whatever. Too late to discuss important issues but this week she can stay up until midnight on the dating website.

Still no contact from her. What should I do here? There are some decisions that need to be made soon. Do I wait for her to contact me or do I contact her? This avoidance issue of hers really bothers me. It's obvious that since she joined the dating website she has avoided contacting me.