From my own experience, you're better off setting boundaries, calling any BS (in a non-@sshole way), and then telling yourself the truth: "This is not how somebody who loves you acts, and what you really want is her/him to love you, but they don't right now, and they may never love you again, and that just isn't what you want".
Once you accept that, I think things flow more easily.
Yep! It's also very similar to the "Band of Brothers/You're already dead" thing (SmileysPerson) or "Stockdale Paradox" thing (Coach) espouses.
