It is very caring and warm to let her know, you "see" her now and you realise this relationship isn't what either of you want. (you agreed with her) It's wrong of you to want to keep her in a relationship that is not making her happy (let her go). You want her to be happy and that is why you have no reservations about moving on. (she get to choose her outcome now). Do you see how loving and liberating that path is?
Yes I do. That is exactly what I am going to say. I will completely agree that the R in it's current form needs to end and I will offer two options both of which I believe could lead to happiness and I am perfectly okay with either choice.
The little trouble I have is to stay firm in case she does not want to hear the second option. There is not a lot to say about the first one – I will move out and you can have the house and the pets. I will keep you posted on my progress of finding a new place to live and coordinate the removal of my belongings, etc.
The second option needs more delicacy. It cannot sound “hopey changey” or pushy. I want to insert some info that I have identified a lot disfunctionality in our current R and that’s why I propose “reinvention” rather than a bandage. I want for her to understand that I am not expecting anything and really talking about starting from scratch. Even that option may include option #1. I am a little worried whether she will give me enough time to lay that out.
I would like her to take a moment to digest what I will tell her because the there is a serious reality behind both options.
I am prepared to deal with her. If she starts interrupting or jumping on choice #1 without letting me finish I would politely ask her to hear me out since it was her request for my response. Since I will have solid plans behind each option I think I can make a request to be heard. I highly doubt that she has a comparable plan but that’s assuming.
Finally I am wondering if I should have this talk Saturday before she leaves for her vacation or stick to the original date.
