To Tell or Not to Tell

[LRT Land]

Even during the height of this stressful situation, you were able to remain calm and steady with H.

I may be relatively calm but my tone and demeanor are not the best with him. I am angry, hurt, frustrated that he picks now to withdrawn and to abandon me. Last night he seemed "normal" except that there were no hugs, no affection, and separate rooms. I don't know if he was normal because he thinks I went to the lawyer or because he called his and filed or if he knows he acted rashly and is trying in his own twisted way to apologize. I know - don't mind read. I don't think I have been - just thinking of all the options so maybe I won't be taken by surprise again.

I haven't mentioned the lawyer, D, the R or the pending miscarriage. Just like limboland with DB/DR, the waiting with the miscarriage is the hardest part and not knowing exactly what to expect.

I'm sure once I get through this recent trauma I will want to save the M again, right now I am just hurting. It's hard to DB when your H deals you such a low blow. Part of me wants to say "go."

I do appreciate all of the support and prayers. It's hard not being able to tell anyone.