Most of spouses of the people on this board have an ow/om. Most are still standing for their M.
Say for instance that your W moves out. You set the boundary with her that if she dates you're through, that it's a deal breaker. You'd better be prepared to follow through with that boundary or any one you set from then on will mean nothing to her. So are you prepared to enforce the boundary? What would that look like to you?
Correct me if I have it wrong dear friends, but with a MLCer setting boundaries especially early on just pushes the MLCer further away because they feel that the spouse is still trying to control or fix them.
If your W moves out the convos you have should be strictly about children or finances. No R talks initiated by you. The same as while she's still there.
This is hard schit Bobby. It's counter intuitive to what you think you should be doing. If you want the chance to save your M you have to save yourself first. Work on you and even though it's easier said than done, give your W the space she's asking for. She has already left the M emotionally. That's why detaching is so important for you. It keeps you from letting your W's actions keep you spinning.
