Just read this on another site and want to look at it when I am actually awake:
Quote:
There is a certain amount of looking at what this other person DID but the important thing is not to see it as what they DID, but what you ALLOWED. This work is about YOU getting well, not what the other person did. At some point you need to stop dwelling on what was done TO YOU and understand that you need to figure out what it is in you that put you in that position to be treated that way. What is it? Find out and fix it. Stop dwelling on them and what they did.
This was about the uselessness of ruminating/obsession. I don't think I do it to anywhere near the extent that I had in the past... but I wonder if some bad habits have snuck in and got me more mired than I need to be. When I am bored, I switch screens between the alt, here, gettingpastyourpast. I read other sitches and comment.
Am I still in victim mode if I haven't forgiven x, or the gf? If I still have anger, especially about the ongoing sitch my kids have to deal with?
I guess this goes to the other post about When Do You Get Over It.......
