John, found that post about loving with 'strings attached' really interesting, but I think you are a little too hard on yourself. It takes two to tango, John, and your W has had one foot in-one foot out for a while it seems. I still can't believe she is only 24, and you 28. So young! Can you flick a switch on your computer so you don't see her online & torture yourself? Remember, letting go is your best hope of saving this marriage. Put all your effort into that.
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
