MLCer or addicted infidel?

[courageous wife]

Stop it! You are NOT old and moldy!!!!

[newmama]

WN! Good to see you post! Happy 50th...you certainly deserved to celebrate it over several weeks for goodness sake!! Eh, the weight will come off in less than a month. Don't sweat it!

So you when you said he left twice and you tossed him twice do you mean since June? Or throughout your marriage?

I just see you pulling off the best "hard to get" act! bravo!

[WhatNow]

Hey CW....I insist...old and moldy.

nm! No, not since June.... since Aug 2008.

Here's a history lesson....The first time he left for 1 night 8/23/08. I didn't know about OW until 9/22/08. I tossed him 11/4/08. (He moved into OW's sleazy motel room & she left her H the next day) He left her 2/7/09 and came home. Soon they were back at it and I tossed him again when I found out 5/13/09. Gave him an ultimatum to return or D, and he returned 6/30/09. Blindsided us by leaving 12/27/09 and I went NC, found DB, and later put together MLC diagnosis. Living by himself Mid-June 2010 and I have made myself a tiny bit more receptive since, while he runs thru close/distance cycles.

I just see you pulling off the best "hard to get" act! bravo!

After all that, and the peace and growth I have found since, It is not an act.

[Seeing Red]

Thanks for posting that Red!

He did all of those things back in June but I held him off. No more back and forths. (He has left twice and I tossed him twice)

Is the rest of that book full of more tidbits like that? Do you recommend it?

It's pretty good. It contradicts DBing in a lot of ways, but it's the first book I ready on what to look for when he's ready to return.

I got it on Amazon.com for .01 - but the shipping cost me $3.99! LOL! Definitely worth $4 if you can't find it at your local library (I couldn't).

[WhatNow]

Ahhh....I know I should be updating here, but NOTHING ever happens! Kids go to school, don't do their homework, teachers call, the house gets cleaned, laundry gets done, appointments are kept...life goes on.

2 weeks ago, my brother was killed in a hit and run accident. My family is devastated. Our hearts are broken and, again, I try to live with another hole in my heart.

H was predictably in MLC selfish mode. I blasted him for not staying with the kids while I went to Chicago to be by brother's side. I left the older girls alone and took DS13 with me.

H did take the girls for dinner a couple of times, and spent a day at the house, fixing little things. He actually made arrangements to have the garage door fixed, rather than the old telling me who to call. Since i returned home, he has been kinda pesty, contacting me multiple times a day over small things. He has been to the house more in the last week than in the last 9 months combined. He is coming today to replace his brake pads.

Yesterday, he was talking about selling some inventory and said, "or you could get a job." I replied with a nonchalant "I will not get a job to support your philandering." I didn't wait for a response, and left the room.

He is trying to team up to get me to work on finding ways to save $. If we were partners, I would do anything to alleviate the stress and pressure he is under financially. Now though, I feel it is his problem, just as he feels the kids and their issues are mine alone.

In this touch and go, I am calm, confident, and really do not care what he is up to (mostly, just observing). FOR REAL. No as if at the moment. I am there.

He is gone. I find his presence and contact annoying. I am ok. I am dealing with a different kind of grief, and what is going on in my life has nothing to do with him.

[handlingplanb]

(((WhatNow)))

There are so many perspectives.......different kinds of pain. I am so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you must be going through on top of what IS. I know that there are times when you REALLY want your H back - the H before the alien attack - to comfort you and tell you it will all be ok - I've been there too. Pull your kids to you, find comfort in what you can, and lean on anyone you can (including those LBS'ers here that understand)to help you through.

Many(((((hugs)))) - Di an a mo

[Mystik]

I am so sorry to read of your loss. Many hugs and prayers to you and your family.

[courageous wife]

Hi WN

I am glad what I posted on my thread helped with your faith in standing and in mankind especially with what you have been through the last few weeks! I sure hope that she will come back and post her story on here!

It is AWFUL and unforgivable to steal from the dead...I just pray that the person who took Michael's stuff needed it very badly and weren't taking it just to take.

Sending you many hugs!!!

[sgctxok]

Your thread is very large. Please start a new one.

Thanks,
sg

[WhatNow]

Here is a link to my new thread.

Click here!