A new day ... or something equally cliche ....

[Truegritter]

It's up to me. Only me. Feeling sorry for myself really didn't get me anywhere productive today. Sooo, time to suck it up. It is what it is.

That's the girl I know.

Only way through it is to do it... (two nickels and Candian quarter to Broooklyn)

That Medal?

Keep it and you get to deliver it to the next person.

Come up with a good name for it.

I have a feeling we are going to be passing it around.

It is yours to give away and tell the story about how you got it

and

How

Now

YOU are free to give it away and pass on the wisdom.

You can do it with a little less sarcasm...

But where's the fun in that?

[PEI]

Come up with a good name for it.

I thought I had ... I kinda like
The not-so-coveted "I didn't cheat" medal
(awarded to most outstanding martyr in a supporting role)
... hmmm, perhaps a little wordy, but what do you expect?

Oh, and ...

You can do it with a little less sarcasm...

ummm ... no I can't ... cause then I wouldn't be

the girl {you} know.

PEI

[Truegritter]

Give it to Eric and he'll call it the

"The Not-SO-F@cking coveted I didn't F'ing Cheat F@cking Medal"

[dl443322]

True, Eric told me you were picking on him.

As I said on his thread, I thought we had a discussion about playing nice.

So while Eric is in his head, no picking on him. Got it? LOL!

[dl443322]

Pei, a little pity party once in awhile is ok. You wouldnt be human if you didnt have one.

But, you got it right, it really doesnt get us anywhere. But it could. All in how you look at it.

I could have one the not so coveted medal. I never won a medal. Nah, never mind. Who needs more things around my neck.

I let myself get overwhelmed of late, too. And when you write it all down, it is overwhelming. That's why it's best to do it in some increments. Now if I can only listen to my own advice.

Try to make it an adventure for them when the kids are going to stay at daddy's. Whoo hoo, an adventure. Yeah, well, it was worth a try. LOL!

Hang in there, my friend. Keep that sense of humor. It's gotten me through some tough times.

[ericmsant2]

Grit...

WTF! I mean f*ck why the f*ck would we f*cking call it that? I mean really? LMAO...

B...Grit is still picking on me. Can you punish him...tell him he can't come out a play?

PEI - Glad I was able to help today. On a serious note, you know what you need to do...you know what state of mind you need to be in. Now really get to it - no more pity parties okay?

You have 3 kids that need you. A family that needs you. Others on this board that need you. Friends that need you. And Grit needs you too..I think he lost his beaver tee-shirt.

Eric

[PEI]

Good morning all! And it is. A good morning that is.

I started this morning by journalling thoughts that swirled around in my head, thoughts that I wanted to get down on paper after a late night convo with a great friend.

**********

August 26, 2010
Our 10 year wedding anniversary

So here I am on what should have been a day of celebration ~ contemplating instead.

Happiness... partnership... how are those related? Are they? Have I ever truly known either? Was I happy? It would be a cop out to say NO. Of course I was happy sometimes, maybe even lots of times, so it's not the existence of happiness in my marriage that I now ponder so much as the trueness of that happiness. And what happiness really is and what it's based on.

I have never truly loved myself, never truly accepted myself, never truly been happy with ME. In a nutshell, any happiness I felt came entirely from external sources. My job, my husband, my kids, my extended family, my friends, etc. I had no basis, no centered core, on which to house this happiness so it came and went. I shared it with my husband, yet it wasn't really mine to share.

So now, as the LBSs, we focus on being happy on our own, for ourselves. Discovering who we REALLY are under all the masks we've put on over the years. We take off the masks, start to peel away the layers, and come to realize that we are not worthy because someone loves us, but rather someone will love us because we are worthy.

**********

So I challenged myself? What should have been a day of celebration? Serious disprespect there for all that I have in my life to be grateful for. So today, I choose to celebrate.

I celebrate and am grateful for my life.

I have my health.
I have three wonderful, strong, beautiful children.
I have a stbxH that is a great dad.
I have a home I can afford to keep.
I have a good paying job with incredible flexibility.
I have an amazing extended family and support system.
I have friends here at home who love and support me.
I have an incredible personal growth opportunity.

I have you.

Believe it or not, I have trouble finding words to express the gratitude I feel towards all of you. You have supported me with love, honesty, compassion, challenges, questions, empathy and humor.

Eric - I learn from you every single day. Your desire to dig deep and root out the truth, even when it hurts, even when it's hard, even when you're afraid ... inspires me.

Brooklyn - You, sista-friend, are a special kind of woman. If I ever reach a point where I am half as compassionate, half as strong as you are I will be in a very good place. You are a gift from above.

Missher - thank you for sharing Little Friday. You are a good friend and I have learned much from you, your ability to calm and listen are very appreciated.

Grit - you push me past my comfort zone and I appreciate that. I aspire to love unconditionally the way you do.

Bear - hey there my new Canadian buddy. I love the way you just say what's on your mind ... you're ok in my books, ya know, for an old guy.

Lance - you care so much about the folks on this board and I appreicate that you challenge me and push me.

Shel - girlfriend, I love your sense of humor. Don't ever lose it, it will see you through many tough spots as I'm sure it already has.

Jack - if you're lurnking out there somewhere ... thank you. You were my first poster when I hit the MLC board and your honesty and ability to call bullsh!t pushed me forward.

Cat - talk about an ability to cal bullsh!t. You've helped me more than you might realize.

Puppy - I really respect the amount of time and effort you give the people on these boards. And I thank you for the support you've given me right from the moment I hit the newcomers board back in March.

Lolawar - you are asking all the right questions, just make sure to take the time to be still and find YOUR answers.

PG - thank you for your support, it means a lot to me that you still pop in and offer up encouragement on a regular basis.

And to the rest of you, far too numberous to name ... thank you. These boards have provided me with an outlet and a safe place to land on many occasions, and for that I am eternally grateful. Keep diggin' deep, keep moving forward ...

Today I choose to celebrate...

Peace
PEI

[Truegritter]

Jack - if you're lurnking out there somewhere ... thank you. You were my first poster when I hit the MLC board and your honesty and ability to call bullsh!t pushed me forward.

Did you intentionally misspell this so Jack could read it?

Great that you are celebrating today.

I just realized when I read your post

Today would have been my 21st anniversary with exW.

Hmmmmm.

[MHL]

PEI,

When you do stop, really stop and take inventory of what you do have in your life that is good, you can't help but be grateful and HAPPY!!

I will celebrate with you my friend, we will toast what life has to offer us all, and you will have the happiness that you so richly deserve.

Cheers

[PEI]

Jack - if you're lurnking out there somewhere ... thank you. You were my first poster when I hit the MLC board and your honesty and ability to call bullsh!t pushed me forward.

Did you intentionally misspell this so Jack could read it?

I wish I could say yes ....