Yeah, I know, I know Eric ... back at it. And thanks for the lumber ... at this rate I'll have enough to build a trophy case for the coveted "4-whistle" awards from Puppy and the not-so-coveted "I didn't cheat" medal awarded to most outstanding martyr in a supporting role, by Grit wink .

I just want this week to be over. And as I'm sitting here in my little pity party for one, I realized that ya know what? In 4 days it will be. Simple as that. And then what? So my anniversary will have gone by, so stbxH will have finally gotten his sh!t out of my house, so the kids will have spent their first night at the apartment with Daddy, so, so, so ....

The truth is, if I want to continue my little boo-hoo-fest I'm sure I can come up with something next week too. And I'm sure it will be devastating. It's up to me. Only me. Feeling sorry for myself really didn't get me anywhere productive today. Sooo, time to suck it up. It is what it is. Getting pummelled with lemons? Make lemonade ... as I so often like to chuck at someone else. Hell, f*ck it, time to make lemon chiffon pie baby!

So what happened, how did I end up here?

I let myself get overwhelmed.

I forgot to take time to be still.

I am stressed about the state of my house.

I am pissed off that it is all going to fall to me to take care of.

I am sad because my kids are moving out of my house half the time.

I am sad because tomorrow is my 10 year wedding anniversary.

And I remind myself of my own words: "it's never so bad that it can't get worse". Time to pull on the BGPs and keep on steppin'. Time to action the items I have control over (ie. get the house in order, take more time for me) and let go of the ones I don't (it's just another day - at least it's Little Friday, he's not going to help with the house and kids will cope and adjust to having two homes).

Ok, deep breath ... now where did I put that broom?

Peace
PEI

Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc