I think that the way we have all supported each other on and off the boards has truly been a blessing. I for one am glad to you all friends.
I could not agree more missher ... I too am glad to count y'all as friends.
Originally Posted By: lolawar
I really do not know how you didn't go Carrie Underwood on his as*.
Because it's not who I want to be when the dust settles ... but DAMN it would feel good for a minute or two
Originally Posted By: lolawar
You are a better person than I.
Thank you for the compliment ... but no I'm not. I make mistakes and have my moments ... I'm human. And we're all worth it.
Originally Posted By: lolawar
The "official" move out is tough...even when you are pushing for it to happen. Because of course...you really don't want it to happen...
Actually lolawar, I do want this to happen. The paradox here is that I want it to happen but it still hurts. This morning I compared it to ripping off a bandaid. It has to happen, let the air at those wounds so they can heal ... but it still hurts to rip that bandaid off ...
Originally Posted By: AJ
We can't know until later.
So true. No crystal balls ... and why it's so important to be true to yourself. No games, no strategy ... just digging deeper ...
Thank you all for the support ... I can do this ... today I choose strength.
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Staying true to who you are is key. It is your roadmap on this journey.
Remember that you have faults and have made mistakes, and you will continue to. But it is what you learn from them and how you change them that will define you.
So I had a hell of a day. I'll post about it in a bit ... but I wanted to say thanks ... to those of you who posted and called today ... made all the difference in the world. And thanks for the kick in the ass Eric ... I needed it.
PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Yeah, I know, I know Eric ... back at it. And thanks for the lumber ... at this rate I'll have enough to build a trophy case for the coveted "4-whistle" awards from Puppy and the not-so-coveted "I didn't cheat" medal awarded to most outstanding martyr in a supporting role, by Grit .
I just want this week to be over. And as I'm sitting here in my little pity party for one, I realized that ya know what? In 4 days it will be. Simple as that. And then what? So my anniversary will have gone by, so stbxH will have finally gotten his sh!t out of my house, so the kids will have spent their first night at the apartment with Daddy, so, so, so ....
The truth is, if I want to continue my little boo-hoo-fest I'm sure I can come up with something next week too. And I'm sure it will be devastating. It's up to me. Only me. Feeling sorry for myself really didn't get me anywhere productive today. Sooo, time to suck it up. It is what it is. Getting pummelled with lemons? Make lemonade ... as I so often like to chuck at someone else. Hell, f*ck it, time to make lemon chiffon pie baby!
So what happened, how did I end up here?
I let myself get overwhelmed.
I forgot to take time to be still.
I am stressed about the state of my house.
I am pissed off that it is all going to fall to me to take care of.
I am sad because my kids are moving out of my house half the time.
I am sad because tomorrow is my 10 year wedding anniversary.
And I remind myself of my own words: "it's never so bad that it can't get worse". Time to pull on the BGPs and keep on steppin'. Time to action the items I have control over (ie. get the house in order, take more time for me) and let go of the ones I don't (it's just another day - at least it's Little Friday, he's not going to help with the house and kids will cope and adjust to having two homes).
Ok, deep breath ... now where did I put that broom?
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
