First of all, you know how important hope is. As long as that hope doesnt keep us stuck, it's ok.
I wanted to talk to you about your son because he is about the same age as mine was when this started.
When h first told him that he wants a divorce. My son screamed and cried like a baby. Why, he screamed. You guys never even fight. Dad, you and mom were just on the couch hugging the other night, why? Broke my heart like nothing else. He got up, ran out and ran and ran. Came home hours later soaked from the rain.
I thought I was going to lose him. For a long time, I thought that. He was sad, confused. He is not one to talk and that concerned me.
And his dad, though he promised otherwise, hardly sees him. I try really hard for a long time to forge their relationship. I have never, to this day, said a bad word about his father.
Then I realized that my son is old enough to forge his own relationship with his dad. As much as it saddened me to think his dad didnt want to spend time with him, it was something my son had to come to grips with and handle.
So, while I am here if my son ever wants to talk about it, I do not interfere. And I make it comfortable as it can be for h to come and pick him up and even spend time at the house if he wants. I make plans and that's that.
While my son is struggling a bit, and is still sad, he is ok. He is. He has grown as accustomed as one can to a divided family. We have grown closer. And he has a good relationship with his dad. Not the kind I hoped, but, the kind he forged.
So, I know how hard it is to see your son struggle. I do. Trust me when I tell you that he will be ok. He will. And I know you will be there to help in any way he needs.
And trust him to be able to handle this. He is, after all, your son and you are showing him how.
