Quick comment about the looks thing.

Your H feel in STAGE 1 love with you becuase of your looks... Why has he loved you for the last TWENTY YEARS?

I think that's a more important question... what have you been doing the last twenty years to keep him at home?

Maybe you don't have an answer, but my point is that I don't think why he fell in love with you twenty years ago is all that important NOW...

Why is he STAYING? What is the context of his love NOW?