Bustorama-Thread 1

[bustorama]

The Betty Crocker Theory.
Let's have some cake? As red roses signify love and passion and white roses, loyalty, purity, and a love stronger than death, The Art of Baking symbolizes something much greater for your relationship. Mixing ingredients of desperation and spreading false hope while indulging your spouse indicates you are out of touch with reality.

Who can resist a piece of Chocolate Cake with sprinkled Selfish Behavior and Co-Dependence? Is it not the most sweetest, indulgent treat someone could offer? "Me, Me, Me, I want you to want me. I want you to want me or I am depressed." It is a sacrifice to lose one's self worth and dignity in an attempt to control and manipulate another for one's own selfish desires. It is indulgent yet it is not festive or mysterious.

As we criticize those who want to have their cake and eat it too, we need to consider the intentions of the 'Betty Crocker Wannabe.' To bake and serve the side dish is to be the side dish. Consider before you a 24oz Prime Rib. It is the main dish which should be the challenge to complete. Bread, and pastries and brownies are but a side dish and a desert to relish afterwards. Notice the words 'challenge' and 'complete.' Since the beginning of time it has been "Survival of the fittest." It drives our need to succeed. Be it capturing a wholly mammoth, or harvesting a field of corn or procuring a healthy, successful mate. We succeed or we perish. There is no drive to be second best. Neither is there a second choice when you are a tree. You take in the sun, and respirate and reach for the sky. Likewise, you should not settle for second option in a relationship. You need to continually challenge your mate instead of buttering them up with pastries.

Settling for second option in a relationship poses some questions. 'What are they cooking up?' Can they know themselves if they cannot understand me? Can they truly love them self if they do not know how to love me?

There is a reason Tyson did as many sit-ups as he did. He could stomach anything thrown his way. He had no time for cupcakes.

Thanks for stopping by McQ. I've read the above piece several times and there are parts of it I get. One thing I take away is why should *I* desperately settle for crumbs of love (and in return offer banquets) when that would never sate me and would leave her fat and lazy (leaving BOTH of us in unhealthy, untenable places). They also denigrate me in that I settle for something less than I am worth.

Another point I take is that by my offering the banquets (of massages, etc), you suggest I am trying to control her feelings and not let her make her own journey which could lead to a truer destination. That I am not being loving and fair to her to let her make her own emotional choices.

Are these (some of) your points? Want to make sure I'm reading right before responding.

Also, it may not appear like it, but I am doing lots of GAL stuff (Tyson's situps?) when I'm not over at her place, I just don't post about it much.

She's called me several times today. Earlier called me randomly to tell me about random funny thing that happened at WalMart. On her way to Walmart, she asked me if there was anything I wanted her to pick up for me (I guess that is nice). She JUST called me again now asking me to come over again tonight, that she was at her wits ended and needed my help cause she is in pain. I want to help her because I do believe she is in pain and needs help with physical stuff, but I don't want this co-dependence cycle you and others have alluded to. Thoughts? I found out her next follow-up doctor's appt. is Sept. 3 and hope to get more info there on if this pain and level of assistance is reasonable.