tired of this

[A_goodman]

You know, I think I am. Not sure how, but my emotions have grown very steady. I'm a different person for some reason. I have been cheerful and, well myself around her this week. But the new me, not the old one.

She seems to be less concerned than I am. The dr.s want her to get one more preliminary test before they go ahead with the surgury. so far, she's not followed up on it. Usually she'd have had it scheduled the next day, but she's dragging her feet. It's an invasive test, and they give it only a small chance of finding some unanticipated cause for the problem, so I guess it makes sense she isn't too excited about it, but it seems like a logical course of action to get this done ASAP.

I don't know. I'm sure she's scared to find out for sure, but this ostritch act is very unlike her and also difficult to watch. I've asked her a couple of times if she's been given further instructions, but am really trying not to push the issue. It's hers and I guess the right thing to do is let her deal with it in her own way.

That's the only source of stress right now for me. I'm there and willing to help however she desires it. I think totally ignoring the R has freed me up to just be the man I would be if this (R problems) hadn't all happened. There've been a couple of minor spew sessions about unrelated things. My wave and smile approach has diffused them easily (Thank You Pup for the visual. It's helped a lot)

I have no illusions. We are still broken, but it doesn't really matter to me that much anymore. Very strange territory.

Thank you all for the care and help.