All throughout our M, including now, W believes she knows best and that her way is the only way to do things. Nobody has ever been good enough to take care of her kids, including me.
Dan, you ever see an old Cary Grant movie, "Philadeplhia Story"?
--She's generous to a fault. Just not other peoples' faults.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Thanks for the good advice R2C. I can see a bit of me in you and I am sure that I will be fine whenever this all shakes out.
You are welcome. Everything will be fine no matter what happens.
During this difficult time, it is important to self reflect. Determine your core values....
Is anything more important than time with your kids?
We have a very small window of time to influence them... 182x10 = 1820 days.....until they leave the nest...read parenting with love and logic by Cline (follow link in my thread) ...
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Thanks for the good advice R2C. I can see a bit of me in you and I am sure that I will be fine whenever this all shakes out.
You are welcome. Everything will be fine no matter what happens.
During this difficult time, it is important to self reflect. Determine your core values....
Is anything more important than time with your kids?
We have a very small window of time to influence them... 182x10 = 1820 days.....until they leave the nest...read parenting with love and logic by Cline (follow link in my thread) ...
R2C-
This is a great, small and to the point, post.
Nothing is more important than time with our kids.
We must fight for our right to have equal time with them.
And it is a right. Fathers are just as important as mothers in shaping the children's future.
Dan, you are headed in the right direction. Stay strong and be sure that your kids will know and appreciate this when they are older and understand a little of what happened.
Kids wanted to go to the new house again tonight. D said she LOVES my new house. They also wanted to show me where to put their beds and dressers since they won't be there when I move in.
We drove by D's friend's house in the adjacent subdivision,but she wasn't home. They told me that since it is Tuesday, she is at her Mom's house. S asked what her schedule is and D said, I don't know, but she is all over the place. She said she thinks she stays 2 days then 5 days. I explained the 2/5/5/2 to them. Then I asked how they would feel about a week at each house with a dinner midweek. D said that would be fine, as long as they don't have to spend more time with one than the other! These kids are amazing.
I picked-up 2 new matresses pretty cheaply for my kids beds and also got a small patio set for my new screen porch. A table and 4 chairs for $160. I thought it was a good deal. D wants to eat in the screen porch!
W asked me when I am moving. I told her Saturday. She then asked if I would be staying there from then on or would wait until the court ordered date of 9/1. I told her that I would be staying at the new house. I wouldn't have any place to sleep here anyway. (unless she wants me to sleep with her, that is! Not!!!)
So W called me this morning about the dog. D called her and said the dog is breathing weird and that I should check-in later. W then called again and told me she was looking up the symptoms on the internet and thinks the dog has Laryngeal Paralysis. Apparently nerves and ligaments in the larnxy stop working and it makes it hard for the dog to breathe, especially in ANY kind of heat. Internet said you can give steroids and benadryl type products to help or have surgery. The dog is a 13yr old lab, so $3k surgery is probably out of the question.
At 3:15 I get an e-mail from W telling me:
"Had to go off on the vets office a bit. I've had it with that place. They never want to have a vet talk to you or give you any advice. It is always just bring your pet in. First they said they would have the vet call me then they have the clerical call me again to give me the brush off and tell me to bring her in. I'll tell you the story later but I told them I've been thinking of switching vets for awhile, partly because I've had this same issue with them in the past. Now they say someone will call me…..ugh!! I'm thinking of switching anyway."
I could tell she was upset, so I called her right away. Should I have waited?
She didn't answer because she was on the phone with the vet, but called me right back to relay the whole story, in detail, as she always does. I just listened and tried to empathize. The vet confirmed her diagnosis and told her the only thing that helps is the surgery. If we don't want to do that, all we can do is wait for her to show that she is in pain and then put her down at that time. No one can say how long that will take, but some dogs don't really have much in the way of symptoms once summer passes and it is nearly fall, so hopefully that will help.
I thought about waiting to call her, but since I thought this could be an emergency situation, I decided not to wait.
13 yrs is a LONG time. That dog is a member of the family. I think you are showing her that you are a stand-up guy and will put aside your differences and come through for your family in a crises. It shows strength and honor in my book.
I hope your dog pulls through and has an easy fall/winter. maybe next summer won't be as hot.
Also, glad to hear the kids like your new digs. maybe if the court reverses the living arrangements you guys could just swap.
See ya buddy.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
13 yrs is a LONG time. That dog is a member of the family. I think you are showing her that you are a stand-up guy and will put aside your differences and come through for your family in a crises. It shows strength and honor in my book.
I hope your dog pulls through and has an easy fall/winter. maybe next summer won't be as hot.[/quote
Agree with A.G., Dan. Absolutely.
- Puppy, whose "Big Puppy" is also a 13yo lab, and who's slowin' down recently
