I understand you are upset and angry but making ANY decision at this time is probably not the best idea. Everything you are thinking and feeling is wholly fueled on emotion. Emotionally fueled decisions lead to disasters.
Once you do recenter yourself you might realize a few things:
A: Many of your actions (ex: house) have allowed your W to feel ZERO consequences. So really, you can't be upset NOW that she has gotten off "scott free".
B: Your W has not been very proactive about the house other than having a strong desire to get it sold. If you are the agent get the damn thing sold or figure out how to keep it yourself (if that is something you might want). Your W chose the agent the first time around and it got you nowhere. Sell the house using your expertise and be done with it. Business people don't allow emotions to rule their deals.
C: You can tell yourself what you want but "closure" does not come from a single conversation with your W. Closure does not come from a single (or a few) counseling sessions. Closure is found when you have your ass kicked enough by a WAS and YOU decide enough is enough and you do the work to move FORWARD. You might be good at GAL but deep down you have not detached at all. I might suggest you looking for a new IC as it seems you and the C talk an awful lot about feelings and experiences but not much about HOW to detach, release control and let go.
D: It is mind numbing pain when you find out your WAS is "out there" or sleeping with somebody else. Nobody is discounting your pain. I think the majority of us can relate to the feeling of having your very core destroyed. It is VERY VERY VERY rare for a WAS NOT to date in some fashion. I think many of us have tried to prepare you for that and you were just certain your WAS would be different. She is not. No WAS is unique.
Everything you are so upset about are things you have known all along... your W's immaturity, her inability to deal with life situations in times of crises and so on. So really what makes today any different? Dating or not your W still has those traits. It really just comes down to control. Nothing has changed from last month when you think about it. Your W has not included you in any decisions or any part of her life for some time now. I know that hurts but it illustrates how nothing has changed other than her profile on a dating site).
I guess it all comes down to you embracing ALL the new tools you know about. Implement them. Put as much effort in detaching and releasing control as you do in GAL'ing!
Anger does have it's part in this process so feel what you need to feel but use it as a stepping stone and not a stumbling block. What can we do to help you?
