On two ends of the world..

[ris]

I feel like a disaster today. The last 2 days H worked very long hours so we didn't get to talk much, but we exchanged a few nice emails every morning and evening.

Today he came home from work and was really depressed (We were emailing). He said he can't take it anymore and I could see he was really falling apart. I honestly didn't know what to tell him. I tried validating - paraphrasing what he was saying and expressing my understanding for the situation. (Before I used to deny his negative feelings and try to encourage and build him up instead, and my optimism often annoyed him.)

Then he said he feels like he's a failure at everything and after long thinking of how to acknowledge his feelings but not agree with it (cause obviously... he's not!) said that I understand how this situation makes him feel like that and that I understand it's hard to cope with.

Well that didn't go down well. He said that talking to me about this is awful and he's just going to go. And he did. I just feel like such an idiot.

I sent him another email after that saying that I want to support him but I don't quite know what to say. And that I don't think he's a failure but I understand that his job is bringing him down so much and it's overwhelming. I don't know if he read that last email.

I just feel like such a horrible unsupportive person. He came to me with his problem and instead of making it better I just made him feel worse.