Well, as the saying goes - seek and ye shall find.
I found the nail for that coffin......in June, the month of my birthday, 432 texts to/from his exgirlfriend.
Yeah, talk about writing on the wall or whatever pun you want to insert here.
Like someone said - everyone has their own breaking point....
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
first get his a$$ out second scream, cry, get all that out third ?
still processing, just found this info couple hours ago through my horrible snooping habit. my gut told me to look for a reason.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
So he has continued to play you. This is not some small öh I made a mistake"- this is total disrespect and crap. And him trying to act like he was worried about you being depressed. This guy is a monster. There should be nothing to think about. Just ACTION!
If you want any input about coming up with an action plan, please ask.
The first thing I did after I found the truth after buying the BS for almost a year: *tossed most of his stuff into garbage bags and put it to the curb (we had already decided on a "trial sep" and he had someplace to go) *went to the courthouse to file for a legal sep - it freezes the financial accounts at that time, so no one can screw around with taking money out, transferring funds, running up credit card debt, etc.
Find out what the legalities are in your state for evicting someone, and serve him with an eviction notice ASAP. In my state, you can give them a three-day notice to quit, but I believe the sheriffs won't come until 30 more days, so you want to get the ball rolling.
I hate to say this, but I'm glad you found the texts. This guy has been playing you for so long, and all of us could see it except you. I'm glad you have something solid now to hold onto, proof that it wasn't your imagination. LET HIM GO! YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER!!!
If he co-owns the house, he can't be evicted...you would have to contact an atty for other options. I don't think you can even legally toss him out and change the locks. But there can be temporary orders granted by the court....
he does not co-own the house Donna... he has just been living off TMW for the last several years. If I remember correctly.
TMW I know you are hurting, but the real pain is not coming from this loser. It's time to figure things out for yourself. You are a wonderful young woman and you deserve so much better.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
Just saw this on Donna's thread and it is words to live by for me, I hope you will see something too.
Quote:
There is a certain amount of looking at what this other person DID but the important thing is not to see it as what they DID, but what you ALLOWED. This work is about YOU getting well, not what the other person did. At some point you need to stop dwelling on what was done TO YOU and understand that you need to figure out what it is in you that put you in that position to be treated that way. What is it? Find out and fix it. Stop dwelling on them and what they did.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
