WAW Using God III

[pigskin]

Haven't posted here in a week, so just journaling:

W is quite perturbed at the recent rejection from our "shared" (quotes hers) friends. A close friend recently chewed her ass out over dinner, just letting her know how she felt about her behavior. She had been wanting to do so for quite a long time. W told me about it but didn't go into any detail and I didn't probe or offer any comment. W called her a bit** and said she was going to "write her off". This is a friend she has been pretty close to for 16 years, and is a mutual friend, along with her husband.

W sent out letters to raise funds for her upcoming mission trip. Not surprising that she got a very cool response from our shared friends, and has raised only about 10 percent of the money required, from about 4 people from church and her old employer. She is somehow surprised and irritated by this.

She even sent out an email to some mutual friends offering to give them "her side" of our story. As if you can somehow justify an affair. But all along I have told her that I have never "thrown her under the bus" in telling others about our situation, and have always maintained that the state of the marriage is shared 50-50.

One of our male friends (who is much closer to me than my W) who doesn't mince words took her up on the offer. He kind of called her out on her email and stated that I have always been factual in discussing the marriage and take more of a position of protecting/warning friends about complacency in their own marriage. I'm guessing she may have been surprised by this, but who knows.

I have entered a mode of treating her like the oblivious annoying coworker who everyone avoids. When she starts going on about offenses that any person with self awareness would recognize as being caused by their own horrible behavior, I just sit quietly and try not to say anything to extend the conversation. I find a mild amusement in it, and feel somewhat proud at my new ability to avoid being baited into arguments with irrational people.

Still haven't gotten the paperwork back from my L yet; no real rush now since she won't be getting anything done on it until after her mission trip in September. But I am becoming more and more comfortable with the notion of ending this relationship and just getting on with dealing with the unpleasantness of still having to deal with it until our youngest is 18...