Question for the officially divorced

[ImprovedRomeo]

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO over it!

But I had some advantages in my case:

1) H had an affair several years ago, I DB'd my butt off, we reconciled and had several wonderful years - so I had the satisfaction of having "won" that time and successfully DB'd.
I'd also been through all the grief of betrayal then, and frankly, didn't feel the need to go all the way back there when H left this time.

2) When H left, it was really the third time he'd betrayed me in the marriage - I really couldn't imagine what he could POSSIBLY do that would make me trust him again, even if he came crawling back, so it was easier to let go.

3) It was also easier to let go because I had peace in my heart that I had tried everything I could to save the marriage. I decided to accept that somehow he had to go down this path and I couldn't save him. Someone said "Let go or be dragged" and I decided, since I couldn't change the outcome, I might as well go out and be happy!

4) I lucked into a marvelous lover a few months after H left - he made me feel desirable and valued the things my H saw as flaws - great for my self esteem. We're not together now but remain great friends and I'll always be grateful to him.

5) I learned to play the drums in a rock band - it is impossible to be unhappy when you are drumming Highway to Hell!

But of all these things, really the most important was accepting that this time I wasn't going to be able to change things, and that maybe the universe had some other plans in mind for me. My life is good and getting better all the time I'm going on tour with a professional musician friend for two weeks, playing the glockenspiel for her, lol. I've been chatting online with a potential new boyfriend who gets back into town next week - tall, dark, handsome, successful, with a sexy foreign accent - what's not to like? I've decided to learn to accept that all my good behavior has earned me some good karma and I DESERVE to have someone fabulous come into my life.

Ellie WOW!!! I felt like I was reading my own situation! ditto! minus the drums and meeting a tall dark handsome boyfriend

How long has it been since the D?