I am going to have to agree with Alan.I don't see how rewarding your spouse for cheating is going to be beneficial in any way. It encourages them to get it from both sides and someone that is actively cheating does not deserve that attention, in turn your S/O should be coming to you and paying YOU compliments and nurturing you and that is just not going to happen while they are in the middle of an affair. The best advice I can give you is to take care of yourself because while your partner is in an affair do you think they are thinking about your feelings or what you are going through? If they did would they be doing this in the first place. I am sorry if I sound bitter but I have tried everything and the best advice I can give at this point is to save yourself.
