Thanks for looking out for me. It's true - Mr. A and I are nowhere near the point of beginning to reconcile. But I'm going on a road trip this weekend and I've decided to change the way I think about this for the next few days.
Since April 2009, I have been praying, bargaining, begging God for another chance with Mr. A. I haven't prayed for full and complete reconciliation or happily ever after, I've just wanted a chance to do things differently.
And now, miraculously, it seems that I have that chance - at least for the moment. I am going to accept it with gratitude and make the most of it. I'm not going to ask anything of Mr. A for the next few days. I'm just going to enjoy his company and attention and try to enact the things I've regretted not changing about myself sooner.
During the darkest times over the past year and a half, I was prepared to carry 99% of the burden in creating a new relationship with Mr. A, should that opportunity arise. For now, meaning for the next 48 hours, I will refocus on that, and simply do what *I* can do and not worry about Mr. A. Then I'll go out of town and see what happens when I return...
