Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Hi Gr8, thanks for the support today man. I really need it today. I found it hard to breath last night when I found out.

My W was so self-conscious about herself (body) as she was always overwieght. Now she's lost the weight and she must feel just fine about herself now. As I said in my recent posts the past few days, I have been so angry because I felt like she was playing me. I was angry because she continues to run away and not even talk to me once during this separation. I meann come on, 19 years together and she can't even talk to me but now it's ok for her to date? Did she not think I wouldn't find out and be upset? Did she not think that I would now stop doing anything for her?

Now when I tell her that I'm not going to do anything for her anymore with these things she may not even care. In any event at least I won't be doing all of these things to help and be made a fool out of anymore.

I'm not sure I can push her away any further now that she's on the dating website? Can I? Does it even matter at this point? Doing nothing seems to be pushing her towards OM.

I don't know how I can talk to her now and not be angry? Maybe she needs to see that I'm pissed? I can't continue to beat my head over a rock and do everything with the house, finances, etc. knowing she's planning on dating. I could try to be very calm with her and tell her that I'm not doing anything anymore and when she asks why I will tell her what I know.

I don't think she's had sex with any OM yet but obviously the dating website leads to that. I can't try anymore to save this M if she has a PA. I just can't do it. I couldn't get over that. I don't know how I wouldn't always think about it.

I'm losing it today.