Quick run down: My H and I seperated last year for approx six months. He has been home for about 7 months now but he hasn't really tried to work on our marriage. Maybe it was just a convienence as he had run out of couches to sleep on. It is also possibe he is having an EA.
My issue is this, he wants to leave again. He says he will be leaving next month. I am confused about what to do while he is here. We get along well and honestly don't fight much, with the exception of the OW I believe he is having the EA with. We still act like a married couple, sleep in the same bed, give each other massages, joke around and laugh together. Should I keep up acting like nothing is happening? As if he's not abandoning our children and I? Or should I stop everyhting and act as though we are already seperated?
Me: 30/ H: 34 DD: 7 / DD: 4 Together 16 years, Married 10 He Moved Out: July 2009 / Came Home: January 2010 Left Again: October 2010
Ok, I post in Newcomers I know he is not having a PA, if anything it is an EA. There really is nothing to expose, everyone in our lives know about it and disagree with their friendship. As a matter of fact, her ex bf sent me a msg on facebook the other day stating my H sabatoged their relationship and is jealous of him. This girl has screwed him over many times as a "friend" and I just know there must be something there for him to keep forgiving her and letting her back into his life.
Me: 30/ H: 34 DD: 7 / DD: 4 Together 16 years, Married 10 He Moved Out: July 2009 / Came Home: January 2010 Left Again: October 2010
Jealousy, can I make a suggestion? If you think it's an issue, and he won't agree to change it - let him go. Help him pack his bags. Make him a lunch to take with him and wish him the best of luck. I was married 16.5 years before the bomb. Know what? It started just like that. Secrecy. New friends. The denials.
Know what? He has no right to treat you like that. Let him go emotionally and physically. If he cannot give you the love you deserve willingly, then go find somebody who will.
It will hurt. But it is the stronger thing to do. If you don't, you'll be "forgiving" him for something he continues to do and that wouldn't be fair to either of you. Hold him accountable for his actions and if he won't change then let him go and don't look back. It's your best opportunity to get the love you want but you have to make it clear to him that it's either from him or somebody else.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I agree with ajm, hold him accountable. The advantage you have is he is still at home. Make your move to hold him accountable now, cause if he leaves this will get significantly more difficult.
