Leave, don't leave, set her free, detach, King Arthur's "decision is yours not mine", Gucci's comment about not being decisive about this particular request.
Maybe I am too tired today, but I got lost here a bit.
Yes, you agree with her. This marriage isn't working for you either. You lay out that you have a plan for staying together or reconciling (which you need to do - it helps you detach and be prepared). You respect her wishes and you will be fine regardless of the outcome. Then you let her go and let her be the next one to speak.
This helps you start a outline for your LBS script.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Get a plan together for both instances and serve the option without revealing the plans. Wait for the answer and then execute the corresponding plan.
Yes, lead, be decisive, think thru this.
Remember the question - What do you want? Answer - You want her to be happy. If she would be happier without you then so be it. If it means you work on things great. Either way here is the plan.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
What do you think if I would prepare 3 envelopes. The first one has my "answer" and the other 2 the corresponding plan outlines.
I will give her the first and ask not to answer right away.
When she returns with the answer (however long it takes) I will hand her the plan she chose. This time I'll let her read the outline and we can discuss specifics right away if she wants to.
I have to be ready to offer either plan right away, why not do it in that fashion.
Just before leaving work today I texted her if she wanted to go out to dinner tonight at the place we haven't been for a long time and she really likes it there. I thought that since every time we go it has either been her initiation or my "statement" that it is where I was going with or without her. I figured to throw in a nice invitation for a change.
She responded "No, thanks, just going out myself tonight." This somewhat incomplete sentence is different than any other time. It's usually "I'll be late" or "I'm going out with the client" or "I'll be at moms".
I replied "Do I need to run home?" because I never know when she actually leaves the house and therefore need to estimate my time for the dogs. She replied "Please, I am just finishing a meeting".
Nothing here really to read into. She has been balancing our time together with her other "fun" pretty fairly lately.
However there is another thing that bothers me today.
I learned from one of my sources that she has organized a party next friday night at her vacation house and invited some coworkers and "friends" from the "Pit of Deception" (the bar she disappears in). There is that one guy that I have kept an eye on for possible EA. I learned that some people have been asked to stay over but I don't know exactly who.
That I have a problem with. I am suppose to drop off 2 dogs in the middle of the week (T or W) and was invited to stay overnight. I don't like this party idea for several reasons but primarily I don't want to have my dogs in the middle of the party where they can easily be neglected or even get loose in a strange and isolated environment. And if there is anything sinister going on I want my "kids" not to be there.
I don't know what to do about that. If she tells me I could express my concerns but if not then what? If I back off from my promise to drive up I need to explain why and the other 2 pups will still be there.
I will try to make her tell me her detailed plans of who is staying there and when.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Just before leaving work today I texted her if she wanted to go out to dinner tonight at the place we haven't been for a long time and she really likes it there. I thought that since every time we go it has either been her initiation or my "statement" that it is where I was going with or without her. I figured to throw in a nice invitation for a change.
= pursuing
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I replied "Do I need to run home?"
Stop asking to do things for her. Your wife can ask for help if she needs it.
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I learned from one of my sources that she has organized a party next friday night at her vacation house and invited some coworkers and "friends" from the "Pit of Deception" (the bar she disappears in). There is that one guy that I have kept an eye on for possible EA. I learned that some people have been asked to stay over but I don't know exactly who.
This combined with her staying up at night on the computer getting a finger workout while you sleep and not ML for over a year is not good. What intel do youy have?
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That I have a problem with. I am suppose to drop off 2 dogs in the middle of the week (T or W) and was invited to stay overnight. I don't like this party idea for several reasons but primarily I don't want to have my dogs in the middle of the party where they can easily be neglected or even get loose in a strange and isolated environment. And if there is anything sinister going on I want my "kids" not to be there.
Seriously you are worried about your dogs? The dogs can handle it. What kind of dogs are they?
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If she tells me I could express my concerns but if not then what? If I back off from my promise to drive up I need to explain why and the other 2 pups will still be there
That would make you look silly.
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I will try to make her tell me her detailed plans of who is staying there and when.
So you can approve?
You need to do some intel gathering, talk to a L and have a plan - how to let her go.
ps She can get you to jump any time she wants by telling you the dogs need you. Let her care for the dogs.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
