Bustorama-Thread 1

[bustorama]

I believe she wanted/wants out cause I had 2 EA's on her and totally ignored her and her needs for 3 years cause I got hooked on a computer game. As I see it, the baking stuff was a very small, but symbolic aspect of that (me being selfish, self-absorbed and not attentive/responsive/tuned into her and what SHE wanted). I don't see it as being about the baking, but what my reaction to the baking and desserts symbolized to her.

I mean I REALLY ignored her and what she wanted and then had EA's on her to boot and after the EA's were discovered CONTINUED to ignore her and her needs/wants, while self-indulgently catering to my own. She would scream at me to stop playing the game and come to bed, and I would tell her she couldn't control me or ignore her altogether. Full-on rejection of her by addiction.

I was ambiguous in my above msg -- the rejection I ponder is for an annniversary dinner/date request. The back (or a$$) rub I take as a foregone conclusion she will balk at. I will request it as you suggested anyway to confirm.

I'm not sure whether NC will lead to her missing me in a good way because of the past history of neglect and EA's on my part (she may perceive me as busy in another affair or gaming) and based on her reaction on Monday when she couldn't reach me after 5-6 calls and I also hadn't contacted her at all on Sunday (when she finally got through to me, she called me in a rage screaming you don't give a f*ck about me and hung up on me). That doesn't seem like the right direction in terms of "what works"???

The time she MOST warmed up to me recently was during the 2 weeks that I was over at her place sleeping under the same roof taking care of her post-surgery. That's when all the hugging started again (after the first week of being there). Now I'm back at the house and the hugging has stopped. Thoughts?