Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[awest1217]

Right now it seems like you are where I was last December and January. I really don't know waht to say, but I will give you the advice that one of my friends gave me. My friend just got divorced (she is 25). Her H was cheating on her and also possibly doing drugs. She found out two years ago about the cheating and her and her H went to marriage counseling through their church. They had a mentor couple and everything. Well one year later after she thinks things are going well...she finds out the A never ended. She filed that week.

When she found out the A never ended, she went to the mentor couple and said how do you know when to stop trying because like us she did not want to D. The couple said when you have lost hope.

I really took in that information and when I got to the point where I felt there was no hope...that is when I filed. Could we still reconcile? Sure it is possible, but given all that has happened, I honestly don't see it happening. I don't see H giving up his life in order to be a H and a father (see my thread for more info). H and I still get along and could really have a great R and M, but he doesn't want that. He wants to be friends and that is it...and sadly because I love S so much, he has gotten his way.

Just think about what has happened and only you will know what is the best thing to do. I gave it my all right up until the end. I am still very supportive, but finally in June I said enough is enough and could stick to it. Then getting the postcard and seeing H with OW...well that was that. I knew all hope was gone. There is still a spark, I am still attracted to him, and I still would love to try to really work it out, but honestly he never wanted to marry me (he has said it many times) and he never gave us a fighting chance.

Think about you and really be honest with yourself. When you are ready, it will be easier to do. Not easy, but easier. A M is work, but that work must come from both sides so if you want to go back to talking all the time...do it. If you think you want to keep distancing yourself..do that, but just do what is best for you.

I am glad you had fun on your trip!