I'm like you, reality is setting in that I don't think my ex will be back either & I'm a lot further into this than you are! I'm sorry to tell you but it takes a long time. I don't know, maybe all these planets lining up or something has caused strange things to happen! I also think the fall has something to do with it, everything dying. It was Sept. 6th, 2007 that my ex walked in from work & said "I want a divorce" no explanation no nothing, I had no clue whatsoever that anything was wrong, so this is a VERY hard season for me, plus on Sept. 3rd 1994 my brother died, so again, very hard timing.
I also will defend my ex, so you are not the only one.
We will all bounce back, for sure! PMA's everyone!!!
I know the feeling. My mind is starting to realize that H may never come back as well. Surprisingly, it's not tearing me all apart. Not sure it has fully sunk in yet, though.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
This is a long process. We're only a 1/3 to 1/2 way through it if the timelines are anything to go by.
What will be will be. Just know that whatever happens, it is meant to happen in just that way. Trust in the plans for you from the Highest Power.
You are one of the strongest most courageous persons I have ever have had the honor of getting to know. One thing I have no doubt of, you will be better than OK no matter how your sitch goes.
Guess I have been holding some stuff in and it came to head last night! Feeling better this morning...
Am turning all of this around...I am thankful to have such wonderful neighbors and I know that my decision to stay in this house is the right one for now because of them!
I am also thankful for the reduced lunches for the kids...this will be a savings of $64 a mo.
I am thankful for the hugs that I get from my kids everyday!
I am REALLY thankful that we are getting a break from this heat/humidity that we have had all summer!!! (had to throw this one in there!)
A few months ago, I had started a journal writing down at least 3 good things/thoughts or things that I was thankful for and I had quit doing that. I need to start that back up and focus on all the good that has truly happened in the wake of H leaving. I have been focusing way too much on the bad!
Hope everyone has a great day!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Good reminder on the thankfulness journal. I have been feeling down too, possibly for the same reasons listed above and my bomb anniversary, wedding anniversary, and bday are coming up next month. UGHHHHH! It helps to know that folks who know your H are supportive of you, doesn't it?
CW, just reading along. Glad to see you rebounding from your sad mood...It's a full moon, you know!
When I was the most depressed in my life (more than recently), I kept a gratitude journal and it SAVED MY LIFE! Seriously! Not to be dramatic but I was very suicidal. I know you have been through very tough times with cancer so you have what it takes to ride this out.
Another thought--when I was telling my friends about stbxh's A, I thought "wow, it was only 2 years ago. Hmm." ONLY 2 YEARS? My mind minimized the length of time in a way that made it seem like it was a "blip" in time! So I say this on your thread because I wonder if the time will fly by and suddenly your H being gone for 2-3 years wasn't so long...when you two R and spend the rest of your lives together. You know? I hope I am making some sense here.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
CW - (((hugs))) I'm glad that you are feeling better....I still go through sad days....missing my former life, missing "us" and our little family unit....and yeah my bomb anniversary is the end of September.....can't believe that it has already been a year, yet so much happened....so much pain....so many rollercoster rides...
And despite it all we have so much to be thankful for
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
You know, there is a lot of stuff I miss but a lot that I don't miss! Lately, although I miss the companionship and intimacy and the help with parenting, I am actually finding that I am missing H more for the manly jobs around the house...to fix things and take care of the yucky stuff!
So, here are positives for today...
Called home as I had not heard from the kids after school and they were both dutifully doing their homework without being reminded (so they say...lol!)
went for a walk tonight and my favorite walking songs were:
Dancing With Myself-Billy Idol Don't Stop-Fleetwood Mac I Gotta Feeling-Black-Eyed Peas (LOVE this song!!!!) Mercy-Duffy
Another beautiful day weather-wise!
Went to my last grade school open house...sniff, sniff
Oh...and did I mention that my bro's are coming this weekend to put the trim up in my bathroom? We remodeled the bathroom NINE years ago...didn't want to rush into finishing it!!!
Hoping everyone is having a good night!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
