Scared as Hell

[desperate1992]

Hi all. I just feel so desperate right now. I've known my husband for 23 years and just celebrated our 18th anniversary. We have two wonderful kids, 15 and 16 and we are great parents. They are our pride an joy and we've devoted our whole lives to them, and forgot our marriage.

We've both had affairs but decided to make it work, but never really put the work in. I think I took advantage of the fact that we were comforatble and most of all best friends.

Regrettably, our lives have been sexless, or wildly sexual, but mostly sexless. We had great sex lives when it was active.

We've been up and down and all over the place. I recently was depressed about our relationship because I know neither of us were happy. I decided I had to make a decision to be with him or notand I decided that I could not imagine my life without him and take down the walls that have been built. I opened up to him and he seemed open, but then cold.
Then recently he told me that he sees me as a great friend, but he wants more and he just isnt intertested in me as a wife. He also said that he was confused and was going to see a marriage therapist alone to decide what he wants to do.

I feel in limbo and I've begged him to stay, but I thinkk he is slipping away. Should I see it as a good sign that he is going to see a therapist, or not? I am so confused.

To make matters worse, he wants to stay together and live as friends until the kids turn 18. WTF? I told him I don't think that would work for me and now he's pissed.

I've mostly been a stay at home mom with no work skills. Does anyone have advice on how I should react, or not react Should I just let him work it out in his way and be supportive, or put the hammer down.

Thanks--so desperate