I used to be an air traffic controller. Can't ever stop looking for that one extra little pocket of space up in the sky to fit one more airplane. It's who I am. But, no, I'm not crazy, and I'm not here looking for a quick fix. I'm just...looking... (Like I said above, I'm slow like a turtle sometimes.)
Ha Ha! Have you ever caught the jet wash during landing like some other fictional air traffic controllers?...
Seriously though...Bravo on the GAL. You will be ok no matter what happens. Your kids have a stable ROCK as a father! That is a difficult thing with your son having to stretch the truth. And I realize that it is a painful thing for you to witness your kids going through this.
You are doing as expected. It is tough to detach. I wish I had been in your shoes. My W was doing the physical dating while married to me. To the point of getting an STD and being very mean and selfish to me. When she introduced the kids to OM and kissing in front of them (after I forbide it) that was my breaking point. She did her threats before that, and even though I took it personally, I was able to shake those off.
But I also dont relish ever having to go through what you are going through now. My wife was not MLC - just temporarily overtaken by sowing her oats. I could have saved my marriage after the short 1 year time of insanity. You unfortunately may have to wait some more for your W to come to her senses. She does sound like she has some serious depression issues that may involve some intervention eventually.
BTW... DJ is a loser taking advantage of a confused woman. He abandoned his family for a woman at her lowest point who is over 6-8000 miles away and 20 years removed from him. Even if your wife were to have a full blown affair with him, it would fail. I understand your frustration with this dirt bag. I recommend something like I did - go hit some baseballs named DJ at a batting cage...Hit a heavy bag (also named DJ)...split some DJ wood...Kick some field goals with a ball named DJ...etc...
Saving your marriage is a noble thing to do. Raising kids on your own can be difficult. I believe you know that you can do it which ever way the cards fall. And I know that you desire your intact family more than anything just as I did. I really hope that you can wait this one out as you have some real hope in saving your marriage. Your wife shows occasional signs of missing the family bond, but she has some personal hurdles to go through without much of your help. In time, she will see what a great guy you are. I know that mine did, but too late.
Strength and Honor... "Strength to do the right thing even if it hurts you. Honor to do the right thing all of the time."
