My H seems to want to D asap, he hasn't filed yet as he says he's waiting until L is done with my parent's estate, plus he says he wants me to file. He asks regularly if I've heard anything from L and why I'm not pushing L to finish up.
I've been trying to keep conversations upbeat and end calls first but it never seems to work out. Today he called re some household stuff and when we were done discussing that I said "Ok, got to go" and he said "Oh so you want to hang up--trying to get rid of me? (yikes I'm not the one who wants out). I said "no" and then he started talking about how this is about him and not about the OW and I said I knew it was about him. He started to talk about OW and I don't know what else. My anxiety level zoomed up into the stratosphere , so I said "I'm sorry but I can't talk about this right now" . He said "you don't want to listen to me?" I said that wasn't it but I couldn't do it now.
So it ended that he was annoyed and I was hyperventilating. Seems like I can't have a conversation where I stay positive and upbeat and detached.
I feel awful but am determined to continue to work on myself and keep a PMA. Feel like I should continue to minimize phone calls (our only contact since we're 1000 miles apart) but it's hard.
I've been reading other posts for help and insight, but would love to have input from my fellow DBers.
