My New LBS Reality

[Truegritter]

Am I in denial if I want to have any sense of hopefulness - even the smallest sense?

You are only in denial if you stop living your life only for that result.

You know I think hope is a lot like unconditional love...

We can hold it in our hearts,

and it fulfills us, and is part of us,

Without ever having to be returned to us.

And sometimes what we start out hoping for evolves into something different,

Something better.

Something we didn't expect,

but we would never have found it had we not had hope to begin with.

[imLIN]

Hope is what kept me out of denial...believe it or not...hope can be real...and you know...I got to the point that if my H had not come home...my hope would have been to keep pursuing my own happy life with my kids...

Hope can change...hope kept me going...hope made me smile on the outside when I was balling on the inside...hope helped me conquer what I thought I couldn't do...

Without Hope...I would have been so lost!

Lin

[irishblessings]

Thank you Punkin, Gritt, and Lin -

your posts were just what I needed to read this evening. S is having a tough night as well. I needed to hear your thoughts on the subject. I hope to pull myself out of the dumps tomorrow. Tough week at work and home. Just need to get through.

[ericmsant2]

IB

I am sorry that you are feeling the way you do.

Trying to figure out what went wrong.

Be careful here IB...this kind of thought process can lead you down the path of could of should of thinking, which does you no good. The past is just that - the past. You can relive it. You cannot go back in time and change it. What you can do is LEARN from it.

then I feel horrible about myself - which then makes me validate all of his negative statements about me!!!

IB - I ask you a straight forward question...ARE YOU A BAD PERSON? If your answer is No I am not...then do you need me to validate that?

Often we the LBS start this journey by placing the blame on the failure of the M on ourselves. We beat the living shiznit out of ourselves. People tell us that it "takes two to make and break a M"...and we agree but deep down inside we still torture ourselves...still ask ourself what I would have X. Why didn't I when he said X.. It truly is a vicious cycle.

You can try to thought stop but that is easier said then done. Do you wanna know something...Your not that bad. Could not have been that bad. You are NOT to blame for all of your M issues, all of your H's issues. Not to blame for your H's MLC. Nope. This is not your cross to carry.

Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Learn from them and then throw them away. Be proud of this IB....you at least acknowledge them. Many people do not. So be proud.

Denial vs Hope.....

So your at that state where you are beginning to question what your are doing. Why you are doing it. Is their truly any hope?

BTDT! So what is HOPE to you? Does not God tell us that all things are possible? Notice that he did not say in your time or when you want. Did not God say..faith without deeds is useless? Did not God say that we must believe when we ask that we shall receive what we have asked for?

You know I hope I wake up tomorrow...I don't know if I will but I hope I do.

I hope my car starts tomorrow. Maybe it will maybe it will not. I still have hope.

I hoped I hit the lotto today. I didn't so you and everyone else is still stuck with me LOL. I still had hope even though I did not get what I hoped for....the key is...I did not get it today.

When I couple Hope, faith and my spritual beliefs I end up with an interesting thought or belief....

I hope and believe that my W may wake up. My beliefs tell me that God will love her no matter what I decide not matter what she does. My belief tell me that God gave us all a free will. Can I love her even when she acts on her own free will. Yes I can. Do i have to agree - no but that does not take away my hope either.

Denial...denial is a choice. You can choose to deny yourself of things, deny yourself of hope, deny yourself of love or YOU can choose NOT to.

IB - your not in denial about your hope to save your M.

Keep believing....keep the hope...

Do not deny yourself a life of happiness...a happiness that YOU define and own. It is yours to make no one else's.

God Bless
Eric

[irishblessings]

Eric

Thanks for that / for your time and your encouragement. I needed it!

[Grace_O]

Irish,

Without hope you may as well lay down and stop breathing. What you hope for may change, but don't stop. Think back over your life and the things you have hoped for. Have these things changed? Probably. Did you ever truly give up hope? I don't think so.

None of us want to look like a fool in our own or anyones else's eyes. That may be a good reason not to talk about the details of the situation.

It's just a tough day. You'll get through to another good one.

HUGS

[ericmsant2]

Hey IB

Your welcome.

Here read this (smile :))
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope

[punkin]

Irish,

What is up with all of us? You know how female co workers over a long period of time will eventually get their 'cycles' together ?( Sorry Guys ) I think those of us on this board are cycling together. We are all in a deep blue funk, for the most part.

From now on, that's how I'm going to refer to it. Getting our period. ( Sorry again, guys ) It lasts just as long and is just as much a party.

[Truegritter]

From now on, that's how I'm going to refer to it. Getting our period. ( Sorry again, guys )

That would certainly explain Eric's long post...

[PEI]

From now on, that's how I'm going to refer to it. Getting our period. ( Sorry again, guys )

That would certainly explain Eric's long post...

LMFAO ... grit ... buddy ... I needed that today
PEI