Yeah, I am dropping the rope. I have less resolve right now than I did yesterday, but I'll make it.
I thought you might appreciate this fact: i can tell that WH is romanticizing our break-up. He loves this kind of thing. It's so tragic, he can wallow for days.
Even though I'm attracted to that kind of drama (my 'issue'!), I'm really irritated by it right now.
And I feel that he is using me to feel better. Wanting to see me in person to reassure me of his love for me, so i can smile and say "Okay! Whenever you want to talk, I'm here to listen. I'll support you in any way I can."
But he hasn't been supporting me. He has been helping with the baby, yes. But it wasn't 'til the other day that we started talking about 'things.' And let's not forget how he showed up an hour late-- with no notice! He knows how important that kind of thing is to me.
A few lines from the "he's not that into you" book got me. Well, it was actually a daily-reading type book with little quotes for every day.
and the Dr. Phil thing got to me too. "A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing partners." WILLING.
And he said something like,"If a man tells you he doesn't want to be in the relationship, he doesn't."
I definitely understand that there are WASes who change their minds or make mistakes and fix them. (BD's H!) But my WH wanted couples therapy-- so convincingly-- and then DIDN'T want to make it work -- again, so convincingly.
I think it was a therapy session that made the difference.
All someone has to do is question him -- "are you SURE you want to do that?" and he falls apart.
I'm not interested in a life of "here" "not here" "here" "not here" etc.
I do have a plan that if he does tell me he wants to try to make it work again, that I will ask him to wait for three months and tell me again. And then at that time I'll say three more months! But I haven't thought about it more than that because, again, dropping the rope.
Soo.... yep!
Work has been fine; well, a bit overwhelming. Feeling better about the daycare again. (After a day of feeling bad.) Oh, one good thing is that I cried in front of them yesterday when I was trying to tell them that WH wanted text updates and to visit. So now they feel sorry for me and may take care of little girl better, ha ha!
I'm tired guys, so I'm heading to bed. But checking my round of threads first.
