I think its a great idea to go see your boys. If I were you I would bring it up as you are coming to see your boys, and dont make it seem like you expect her to see you as well. She doesnt have to see you but she cant really keep you from seeing your sons. Maybe you can plan an activity with your sons - take them camping or fishing or let them stay with you in a hotel somewhere interesting. That will take the pressure off of her to know that you wont be up there in her space or pressuring her.
And tell her now - dont wait until a week ahead of time to bring it up.
