[quoteLaura, you're right, that infidelity board is not for the faint of heart. A few years on this board will toughen you up. [/quote]

I can't stop lurking over there.lol. BUT--I see that their hard-hitting approach is a bit over-the-top for me and my sitch. I do need to toughen up around here (my sitch)--my H has no respect for a doormat. But I have to be less tough than those poor guys/gals over there.

I also see now so clearly why my mom's approach didn't work--never will work--when there is an affair. I was over on Kat's thread telling her that story and my poor mom just didn't have a chance. Of course, she is SOOO much better off without my dad that she truly is the "winner" in the end.

Oh--Kat--my mom has never remarried--not that she hasn't been asked a ton. She is an incredible flirt and after my dad, she became quite the slut!! She did get a bit of a bad taste for men in general and then, well, there is her manic depressive side and that would be hard for anyone to live with (she isn't terribly depressed, but becomes SO manic and just is FULL of non-stop energy and gets kinda bitchy).lol. She is a bit of a hoarder in her old age too--very girly stuff and lots of it!lol.

She has just in the past 5 or so years softened about men and I haven't heard her male-bash in a while. She never was able to fully trust. I think if she had something like this forum it would have given her back a lot of the confidence she lost--lurking around here you do see what you could have done and why what you did didn't work. She had none of those resources.

Anyhoo...my sitch is pretty boring right now. Although one interesting development--some checks are apparently "missing" from my H's business checkbook. He has had it hidden away from me and since he took me off as a signor, I can't just call my neighbor that works at the bank and see what's up with them. Oh well, not my problem. He calls me all panicky and I can tell wants me to "do something" but with him taking me off the account, I can't!lol.

Really, this isn't so bad after all. I am always amazed at how much work I no longer have to do around here!lol!