I called H to tell him what was going on & to tell him that I really needed him to start helping out financially. I don't think it's unfair. I asked if we could have a conversation, he kept bringing up the past. How this was my fault, how I should ask my father to lower my rent, how everyone else should "step up"--everyone BUT him.
BR,
Listen, did you really expect him to say he would help?
You should know by now, that you CANNOT rely on him.
The sooner you figure that out, the better off you will be.
I know it sucks. I know that in the real world it would be nice to have the help even if the marriage is over. But this is not the real world exactly...
This is MLC land and you are setting yourself up for these hour long cry fests if you keep asking him for help.
The only help you are going to get is help that he decides to give, and it won't be help that you ask for at this point.
Why?
Because that is you having expectations of him. You keeping him attached to you in some way. You controlling the situation. You not accepting what he has asked you for.
However, when you don't give him what he wants, it is you being cruel, you walking away from him, you being the monster that he turned you into in his head.
Do you see how no matter what you do, right now, you are not going to be right?
This has to run it's course before you will get any sort of real and genuine cooperation from him.
While it is good for you to get this out, you have to find a way to get yourself to a place where this is not something that sets you off for any length of time anymore. Especially when your PMA needs to be strong. You have some tough shiat coming down the road...Stuff that you need to be able to put all of your energy into.
So, what can you do to help yourself? Without having to rely on him?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
