I'm sure you are leaving out some specifics of your sitch, but I agree with Dan. If there is food in the house, don't wait for her to offer you some. I don't want to read your mind, but don't feel guilty because she's paying for it. I hope I'm way off base and don't take it the wrong way.
For you to be able to take care of your kids, you must first take care of yourself. None of us here know exactly what you are going through on a day to day basis, we can only imagine from what you have told us. Eat, be strong in body and mind. Do not let her call the shots. I know you feel stuck and you are stuck in ways. Don't let her treat you like a dog. If a stray dog showed up at my house, I would treat it with more compassion than your W is treating you.
