DBing while in MC

[bustorama]

I'm in the same uncertain boat as you, Pinhead, in terms of trying to find the balance between responsive, validating and listening and not relinquishing boundaries/control/self-respect.

I've had similar flirtation things going on with my own W recently (her showing me her T and A repeatedly, last night she asked me to massage her A more in the context of a back massage because she said it felt so good). I sit there thinking to myself, WTF knowing that if I were to initiate something more it likely would be rebuffed in both the short-term and long-term.

I tend to agree with what the others are saying that your cat is showing interest and meowing at you, but she is still tiptoeing along the fence. Other than not going melty-man and soft on her and staying strong and attractive, I'm not sure what else to suggest. I'm struggling myself with what being strong and attractive would be. I guess if I were in your shoes and based on what she said, it would be just to be the best pinhead you can be and stop focusing on the R or on her moment to moment feelings. Try to focus on what you want, what your values are, what your boundaries are and live them. All this while being prepared to validate her and communicate with her if/when she brings R issues up.