My goal wasn't to get her to move out. Or to stay. It was to tell her that she's been heard; that I know what she's feeling.
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If she really doesn't know what she wants to do, then is me pushing her out the Right Thing? Forcing a crisis? I'm not sure about that.
I understand your confusion/indecision?
While I have had my L start the paperwork and have been giving her the financial statements, assets, etc., I find myself doubting myself.
I have read many time here that you can make it clear that you have dropped the rope and set her free but don't help her with dissolving the M.
Since the rings came off last week, she has been more civil and relaxed. I admit, I hate that we don't wear them and I'm the one who took mine off and put it on the counter and told her let's stop pretending and tell the kids..... She has made no move to leave or anything. I call BS when it's warranted and made it clear that I don't care what she does, but while she is still living in our home, she will treat me with the respect due another human being and the respect due to our children. I told her I am not her baby sitter and I will no longer automatically be there for her to go running around. If I have plans, she needs to find a sitter. I listen, really listen when she talks. Like you, it was something I didn't realize that she thought I wasn't listening or didn't care what she had to say. I did and I can see how she thought that I didn't.
Steve has strong opinions on how to act and what to do. Maybe he is built that way and maybe we need to be more like him, IDK. I appreciate his advice and know that he means well even if I don't always agree or am not ready to follow it.
Anyway, I know exactly where you are at. I would love for my W to agree to more MC. It's good that she brought it up. Now, does it mean anything? IDK. Is she cake eating? Maybe. Stay detached, but be as attentive as you can when she does open up to you a little bit. It's a fine line that I have not fully learned to walk.
As far as the fashion show---dude, I haven't even been close to it since March. You have more self control that me. I think I would have exploded.
