D4ML--I so get the paranoid feeling. I am living it here, it is HELL.
I WISH my H was gone from the home right now--so I could just NOT HEAR HIS PHONE GO OFF!! And then he goes outside to talk and it SUCKS!!!
You need to stop your Intel--please--it is hurting you. I don't know how to look up my H's phone log and I'm SO GLAD I don't know how. It doesn't help and puts you like this--not good.
I get it, Oh, do I get it--you were looking for someone else and I did it too. But there is no one else. So stop.
And, you know what?lol. I woke up last night in the middle of the night THINKING OF YOU.lol and what you said about "being each other's first" and you have been married 9 years and it hit me like a bolt in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
He was a virgin in his 30s???
Yeah, you don't have to answer on this public forum but this guy is NOT a sleep-around kind of guy. AT ALL!! And his mom's germaphobia thing? Yeah, the chances of him doing that are beyond none. No WAY.
You will someday see what a blessing your M-in-law's germaphobia is!!
Anyway, there may be something coming. Go play squash or do whatever you do to calm yourself when there is something bad about to happen. Get yourself in a happy place anyway--you have to take care of you and part of your work here is to figure out WHAT makes you get to your happy place the quickest.
